GoLocalProv | Lifestyle | Dear Annie: Teen Marriages, Covert Vaping, and Pornography Addiction

Monday 29 May 2023

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Annie Lane, consulting journalist

Dear Annie: I am a man who got married at 19. If “Disapproving” wants to maintain a good relationship with her daughter, he should voice her concerns but assure her daughter that he trusts her judgment and will always be there for her.

My mother was not supportive at all. She told me in the limo on my way to church that I could change my mind even if I was walking down the aisle. I chose love; we faced all the hardships that life invariably threw at us and celebrated our 50th anniversary last year. Sadly, my mother chose not to be a part of our lives and she has lost all the triumphs we have achieved. — Answer from a daughter


Dear daughter: Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope you can find some kind of forgiveness for your mother after all these years.
People make mistakes and change. You have only one mother.

Dear Annie: I loved your response to “Betrayed,” who just found out her boyfriend was hiding a vaping addiction. Your advice is spot on.
May I suggest another piece of advice to offer her? Please advise her to go to Al-Anon. It’s free.
As you know, this group is extremely useful. Betrayed and Blindsided will find a lot of help in this group if she is willing to go regularly and be open minded. You will find many people in similar situations. Great friendships can be born from participation.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Keep it up.
Peace and Blessings — Al-Anon Fan

Dear Al-Anon Fan: Thanks for your letter. Al-Anon is a great resource to help families suffering from addiction and your reminder will help others who have a friend or family member suffering from addiction.

Dear Annie: I’m replying to “Television Party in New York”. This reminds me of a cover story in Time magazine a few years ago, written by a man who said he had PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction). This is pretty self explanatory, but it’s an issue that has most likely become a concern in many homes globally.
Men may only get excited or interested in physical attraction to porn workers or the antics they perform for the camera. This leaves them uninterested or unable to enjoy the woman right in front of them. I hope honest conversation and an excellent therapist can help these couples get back to the “real thing.” — Worried about porn

Dear interested: Thanks for your letter. You are underlining the importance of why anyone with porn addiction needs to get help right away. It can lead to all kinds of problems, and in my opinion, porn is too easily available on the internet.

Annie Lane is mother, daughter, sister and wife.

She grew up in California before heading east at age 18. She graduated magna cum laude from New York University, where she majored in English literature and she also majored in psychology. After NYU, she received her Juris Doctor from New York Law School.

Over the course of her education, Annie has held various jobs, including at Barnes & Noble because she loves books. She is a certified yoga instructor who also worked in sales at an internet advertising startup. In addition, you worked for two years at a law firm and, before that, for a year at a federal magistrate.

Yet no job came more naturally to her than offering common-sense solutions to everyday problems. Her advice is unusually insightful. She’s sympathetic, funny, and firm—and her column is very similar to Ann Landers’ column in style and substance.

Annie lives outside of Manhattan with her husband, two children, and two dogs. After a decade of living in the city, she’s focused on her family and the Dear Annie column. When she’s not writing, she devotes her time to playing dates and Play-Doh.

“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” it’s out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, featuring her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available in paperback and e-book versions. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].


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